2011年4月20日 星期三
My favorite season
Among the four seasons of a year, I like autumn most. I like autumn for some reasons. First of all, autumn brings cool wind and I always feel comfortable and cool. When I walk along the street in autumn, I can feel relaxed. Furthermore, the temperature in autumn is moderate and I would not feel sticky or cold. Additionally, there is less damages in autumn. But there is drought in summer and cold current in winter. Finally, the weather is neither too hot and nor too cold. Thus, we can do many outdoor activities without being worry about being sunburned or frostbitten. I always enjoy autumn and autumn is my favorite season for these reasons.
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I like autumn most. I like autumn for some reasons.要不要合在一起,比較不會有那麼多重複的字
回覆刪除Additionally, there is less damages in autumn. But there is drought in summer and cold current in winter.
改Unlike summer and winter, there always has drought and cold current.比較順的感覺~
Among the four seasons of a year, I like autumn most. I like autumn for some reasons.
回覆刪除~I like autumn most for some reasoms.比較不會太饒舌
being "worried" about ( worry是動詞 )
being worry about
回覆刪除worry→worried
其他沒什麼問題
轉折詞用的不錯~!good
除了某些字(像autumn和cool)稍微有一直重複
回覆刪除其他沒有問題唷!!
文章還是短小精練阿~
~I like autumn most. I like autumn for some reasons. =>I like autumn most for some reasons.這樣會不會比較順?
回覆刪除I always enjoy autumn and autumn is my favorite season for these reasons. 第二個autumn要不要改it之類的
第二行的and要不要改成so比較好???
回覆刪除第四行there is less damages
如果damages可數的話前面的less應該改為fewer喔
其他都很棒唷~~~
除了前2個autumn其餘的要不要改成it阿
回覆刪除