2011年5月25日 星期三
Expressing an Opinion-2
Students should wear uniforms to school. Although many people insist that wear uniforms to school is't convenient, I strongly believe that if we don't have uniforms, we have to be worried about what we should wear every day, and then we will not study hard because we will spend time choosing clothes. While it's true that we don't have freedom of clothes, I believe uniforms will make us look more disciplinal. More and more larcenies happened in school, what we can do is properly manage the people who enter school. If we wear uniforms, we can differentiate between students and strangers. Then, strangers can't enter school easily, and the larcenies will decrease. In light of all the points mentioned, it's obvious that students should wear uniforms to school.
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第二行is't-->isn't
回覆刪除很多字詞和轉折詞用得很好呢!
is't ->isn't
回覆刪除*Although many people insist that wear uniforms to school is't convenient,~. 跟剛剛那篇一樣而且wear要加ing → Althouth many people insist that wearing uniforms to school should not be convient,~.
回覆刪除* More and more larcenies happened in school,~.這句 "沒有連接詞" 而且我覺得以下擇一會比較好,看你要寫成happen(表一件事實)或是has happened(過去到現在仍一直在發生)。另外,這句是新的論點ㄇ?如果是要不要加個轉折辭之類的...因為我自己覺得while ~disciplinal.接這句念起來有點不太順,妳自己斟酌八~
論點很讚喔!
回覆刪除we will not study hard because we will spend time choosing clothes
改
because of spending too much time choosing clothes
就不會一直出現will了
will感覺有點多...
回覆刪除1)wear改成wearing
回覆刪除2)is't 改isn't
is't拼錯了
回覆刪除其他就沒什麼問題了